By embracing the idea that we have multiple emotional parts within us, we can approach these with curiosity in an effort to untangle confusion or frustration. When I first experienced this technique in my own therapy, I found that it allowed me to focus on a particular viewpoint or feeling without being as easily distracted by opposing thoughts or critical analysis. It enabled me to slow down the process of working out how I felt and to explore each part more deeply.

Turning the lens onto the people whose voices are present within us can be an incredibly healing and impactful process. Introducing your partner to this history can be immensely important for change. To be able to understand why we react in the way that we do, and to share this process with a partner, is to bring awareness to the unconscious communication that is happening between two people. With awareness, we have the choice to change our behaviours and to empty the crowded room.

The experience of clients who have never experienced orgasm is often rooted in isolation. There can be a sense that there is a party that they haven’t gained an invite to, or a club from which they’re excluded. When someone starts therapy and tells me that their goal is to experience orgasm and understand what has prevented this up until now, there is often an unspoken sense of ‘am I broken?’ or ‘is something wrong with me?’ Such is society’s view of sex that we are told that its purpose is for climax. So where does that leave people who don’t feel that this is possible for them?